Circus Peanuts! These are easily among the most reviled candies in the world. They are so hated that the Straight Dope has fielded questions on whether anyone actually likes them. Thankfully, the results of that question assure me that I'm not completely alone (in terms of candy preference, not in terms of my wife utterly abandoning me). Yesterday, a friend asked me if my "love" of Circus Peanuts was really just a ruse concocted so that I could buy candy without fear of other people stealing it. It's a nice idea, but I really love them.The great thing about Circus Peanuts is that they actually are disgusting to eat. If you've never had one and don't believe the hype, let me confirm: marshmallows were never meant to be banana-flavored. I can't really stand to eat more than five at a time. Not only are they fat-free, but they have a built-in overeating prevention mechanism! Folks, this is a really fantastic candy. And cheap, too! They're so good that I get the hankering to eat more just a few minutes after getting sick of them. That's an excellent turnaround time. Candy corn weighs heavily on my palate for a lot longer than that. In fact, I believe I will have some immediately after I write this. Delicious, and so chewy! How many candies do you know that taste even better when they're stale? Marshmanna from heaven.
Luckily for my digestive tract (not so much for my figure), the other food I'm using to kick off my renewed bachelorhood is a classic: Pizza Hut pizza. See, my wife is lactose intolerant, so I can't really enjoy store- or restaurant-made pizza anymore without feeling super guilty. We've managed to compromise with her affliction by making pizza at home using lactose-free shredded cheeses (Kraft, we love you), but there's something about a Pizza Hut pizza, something deep in the crust, that you can't replicate without breaking a few health codes. Thankfully, there's a Pizza Hut right near my job, so I placed an order on-line and zipped over to get my $10 pizza (traditional crust, italian sausage & mushrooms), which I have since eaten for lunch, dinner, breakfast, and lunch. The pizza's gone, but four meals for $10 is a pretty good deal indeed, so Pizza Hut should keep its eyes open for my custom.
I also heated up some spicy sweet potato fries. My wife has always handled that before, because she doesn't trust me to use the toaster oven anymore (please don't ask), so I was a little unsure. But with some small trepidation I was able to foil the oven pan, throw in the fries, and wait twenty minutes for the delicious feast to come. Somehow, I still managed to turn one of the orange fries yellow -- not sure what I did there, but they can't all be winners -- and enjoyed the fruits of my exhaustive labors with mayonnaise. It really takes the edge off the spiciness!
My plan is as follows: no eating after 10pm. Somewhat careful tracking of calories (to the point that I aim for 1600 calories a day, but will accept up to 2000). Being a sizable adult male of low activity, most sites that I have checked have placed my required daily calorie intake to maintain weight at about 3000 calories. This isn't going to be a weight loss blog, have no fear, but I want you all to understand some of my stranger dietary quirks.
Oh, and before you ask why, if I want to lose weight, I'm still eating candy: silly reader, haven't you been listening? Circus Peanuts are banana-flavored. I've gotta get my potassium somewhere.
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